Reality Bends

Ignite my eyes, and brain, and seed
Bring crystal oceans over me
Of depth and love and fantasy
Turned real all through my touch


The nature of reality boggles us all. It is what we all grapple with from the beginning of life. Questions about who we are, why things are as they are, and why we die and suffer loom large. Are there gods, or one god (with a big g or little g?), or is it really us in disguise? Are we solid, energy, or a lonely brain in a vat? Can there be peace on earth? What does it even mean to be peaceful and loving? Are we truly with others, or is it just a dream, a hologram created from bored, electrical lightning storms brewing within a cluster of wayward nerve fibers? And what does it all mean? What is the point, or is there even one, to start with?

Wading in this murky water, feeling the undertows and rhythms, being prepared to surf or be dashed upon the rocks...all of this is what it means to be alive. How we choose to create this personal reality is really about how we choose to define ourselves. We can't choose our borders unless we first see the limits; who we are depends on what we determine ourselves to be for or against. Reinventing ourselves is simply a matter of perceiving our world anew...asking questions about what we fear, what we love, which team we're on...playing with different answers and belief systems will open us up to sometimes surprisingly odd expressions of ourselves. There are no limits except those we personally pick and enforce, no rules except those we choose to follow. Reality is nothing more than shifting sands in the wind, and the wind is stirred simply by our focus and attention alone. We are master creators who have forgotten that we only came to the sandbox to play.

Change your beliefs and you change your world. Shift your focus to something more fun and interesting. I find that, for all of my life, I have been focused on the world being a fearful and painful place. But is that really true? It has been for me, but its also what I created. I was told what to see by my parents, brought up fearful in a well-meaning kind of way; at forty-five years old, however, I can now better decide for myself. Do I like the 'me' I became? Do I feel fulfilled? Do I like the belief systems I locked myself into? Or am I just totally bored with it all? Have I run the course of all that I am capable of under this limited box of beliefs? I think so. This box, a toy box at one point, has now become a lifeless casket. I long for a new set of Legos. Or maybe a chemistry set. Ooh! Or maybe that red bike in the store window that will take me out of my room and down the road to my neighbors....hmmm....maybe they have cake and cherry vanilla cokes and conversations endless about String Theory. Maybe Michio Kaku is my neighbor!

My point is simple: choose who you are with conscious focus. Don't settle with who your family and education and financial status told you to be...play with different ideas. Who would you be if you were Buddhist instead of Christian? A firefighter instead of a data analyst? What beliefs and fears would you need to confront if you always secretly dreamed of being an artist, or a business tycoon, or, as immortalized in an amusing Monty Python skit, a lion tamer? ("I have a hat!")

Explore your reality. Know that you created it. Know you can do better. And never forget to play.